I was able to fix the size issue, but still not the templated rendering.
I rendered my icon out as a 1024x1024px PNG, used Image2Icon to make an Iconset out of it (without clipping it to any of the built-in shapes) and then used this in the extension's Info.plist to load it:
<key>CFBundleIcons</key>
<dict>
<key>CFBundlePrimaryIcon</key>
<dict>
<key>CFBundleIconName</key>
<string>Icon_Template</string>
<key>CFBundleIconFile</key>
<string>Extract</string>
</dict>
</dict>
which can then be referred to by name for the finder preview icon:
<key>NSExtensionServiceFinderPreviewIconName</key>
<string>Icon_Template</string>
Of interesting note, it's also possible to use the same undocumented thing that Apple uses to make an icon out of an SF Symbol and some colours, but that doesn't work with a custom symbol. For future travellers' reference:
<key>ISGraphicIconConfiguration</key>
<dict>
<key>ISRenderingMode</key>
<string>automatic</string>
<key>ISSymbolName</key>
<string>rectangle.compress.vertical</string>
<key>ISEnclosureColor</key>
<string>gray</string>
<key>ISSymbolColor</key>
<string>white</string>
</dict>
Topic:
App & System Services
SubTopic:
General
Tags: