Hi everyone,
I was struggling with the same issue and revisited Sign In With Apple documentation. I don't know if this is new, but there is a server-to-server notification system for Apple to let your backend know about a SIWA account being revoked.
See "Processing changes for sign in with apple accounts" on the developer website. (link is being blocked here... )
As a result, I believe the following approach will be the best:
• in your app, if a SIWA user initiates an account deletion request, provide instruction to guide the user into the SIWA revocation system, and indicate that all account information will be deleted after the revocation.
• On receipt of a server-to-server notification, delete all user data in your backend.
The only missing bit here would be the ability to notify the user of the completion of the deletion process. If the user has not shared an actual email address with you, you won't be in capacity to successfully notify the user through a relay address as it should be deactivated by the time you get notified.
Maybe a perfect approach would be to offer the user to submit a notification email address if they wish to receive confirmation of the account deletion.
Hope this helps!