I have been encountering this problem in my Macbook Pro 16" i7 and it was really frustrating. I would like to share that it never happen again after I upgraded to OSX Monterey. I can now connect my Macbook and it works fine, regardless if it is sleeping or not. Monterey is still not released officially but the beta is beta available for developer & public preview. If you dont want to go unofficial, just hold tight and sooner, this thread will be closed (hopefully).