I have 16.2 and initially had this issue. When I installed the new version it installed a default Simulator for me, which turned out to be SE 3rd Generation 18.2. Well I later found out it's SE 2nd Generation 18.2. So I deleted that one and installed the 2nd Generation. Then I noticed there was no Developer Mode in 18.2. When I started a build in Xcode it then started exporting this shared key(s) between the devices and then it asked me "Do you really want to allow Developer Mode?" I said yes and then I saw it on Settings. I had to enable it. Then after that I was good to go. So make sure you have the simulator installed for your exact device. And at this point it will show up in xcrun devicectl list devices.