I guess this no longer matters. Xcode 14 official deprecated Xcode Server.

I seem to be experiencing the same. iOS deployment target of 13.4, running on a 13.7 simulator. With the .compact preferred style set, the date picker continues to display the .wheels style components.

Xcode Server exists as a part of the Xcode app, so you can't remove it... but you can reset to a state where it is not configured. Swift 'Off' Xcode Server in the Xcode preferences. In terminal, run sudo xcrun xcscontrol --reset Remove the Xcode Server account in the Users system preferences.