after speaking on the phone, a support guy manually kicked off the email that gave me a link to https://developer.apple.com/contact/file-upload/upload/select to upload my ID, which I think was the missing step in the process. dunno if it'll work after that or not, but

agreed, it's unacceptable. i'm also stuck in pending (since i made the mistake of signing up via web, and not the Developer app...?) - it's baffling to me that what should be a basic entitlement grant/license can just Get Stuck Forever with no recourse. I paid money for this? Is this a joke?