Okay… Literally, only half an hour after I posted this I located the problem. In case anyone else ever has the same issue, the problem was that I didn’t have “In-App Purchases” enabled in “Signing & Capabilities.”
You have to go to Project > Targets > Signing & Capabilities. There is a tiny, light gray + at the top of the window to add capabilities. Search for “In-App Purchases” and double click the item. No other configuration is required.
Topic:
App Store Distribution & Marketing
SubTopic:
App Store Connect