@Developer Tools Engineer
file it under Feedback Assistant, including indication that it is a duplicate of 131662031. Included the sysdiagnose for the MacBook, including various iPhones I have the issue with.
However, the workaround did not get me out of this state.
purchased an additional MacBook, installed Xcode etc. Not the beta versions. This one just works with the same phones on the beta iOS releases. So I am able to further debug, and hoping that non beta version of Xcode (in store) and macOS in the future will make my developer macBook working again correctly.
Note. It looks indeed something in CoreDevice, as finder can just connect to the phones normally.